Saturday, May 19, 2018

New Family Dynamics

Kids grow up, families evolve. I did get up early and watched the Royal Wedding. It wasn't so  much that it was the Royal Wedding, I'm just a sucker for weddings in general. The start of new families, particularly when two people have come from families with divorce, says something about the trust and faith in each other and the willingness despite the fear, to plunge into the rest of your life tied emotionally and  legally, to another person. Marriage is more than just a piece of paper in that respect, though I feel people can be just as committed and invested and not be married. Royal's aside, best wishes to two people that appear to have their heads and hearts in the right place.

DH and I have been married for over 30 years. Life and our family sure has changed in that time. Perhaps we will have big weddings in our family, perhaps not. Regardless life and families evolve and family members come and sadly go. Even little changes like DD2 getting a job and now suddenly our family weekends at the lake cabin often will not include her, a preview for when she goes off to school. Tomorrow we are going up to get the dock in, get the sleeping loft above the garage swept, dusted, and beds made, and a general purging of things we now, a year later, can be convinced are no longer needed. DD2 has to work tomorrow, so just us two. DD1 spent the weekend there though, but will be heading home by mid day. As each family member has grown up, the dynamics have changed. 

It's prom day in our high school, but DD2 is not going. She was supposed to have a non-prom day with friends, and proably will still hang out with friends for a bit, but someone asked her to cover their shift at 5:30. Saving for school and the trip makes it hard to turn down hours. She seems to like her job well enough, getting more comfortable. The schedule has been nice as it hasn't interferred with afterschool needs and committments, and generally, she is done by 9:30 so could still meet up with friends if wanted as she did last night. 

I get wistful on wedding days, family or non family. They are happy days and the start of new. A sign that families grow and evolve, and that is how life should be. 

4 comments:

  1. Its the junior prom today. My little girl is growing up too fast.

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  2. I watched the wedding live and thought it was beautifully done. Much more modern and inclusive. That being said, now when I see a wedding I generally think "ouch - you poor sods". I know, I'm a terrible cynic but my marriage really was THAT bad! That being said, I wish all brides and grooms well and sincerely hope that they have found "the one". On a funny note, I went down to our cafeteria to get coffee on Friday afternoon. The lady serving wished one young man well "for tomorrow" and explained that he was getting married. The young woman in front of me made some comment like "poor sod, shall we tell him". I said "never again" and the cashier said "I'll drink to that" and we all burst out laughing. I will never get married again as I will never allow anyone to rip the rug from under me like my ex did and basically run off with everything I worked for. Too many horror stories as far as I can see but I'm sure there are many more happy endings. I just didn't have one!

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    Replies
    1. I'm sorry for your situation. He sounds like a royal jerk. Still, your kids found happiness and fingers crossed will stay as such.

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